Last night, before I wrote the Solo Fi post, I pulled up Facebook and navigated to the only group I had where I thought I could ask the question about dating. The “Hello Seven: Take Your Business From $100k to $1m” group is a collection of boss woman claiming their success and supporting each other. The dollar signs are a bit pricey for me and more of a long term goal, so I don’t hang out in the group too often, but when I wracked my brain for people who might understand my pain, this was the group that came to mind.
I drafted this post while sitting in a bathtub, and when I wrote that last line, I almost cried. My gut was twisted, and I double checked that the ask didn’t break any group rules before I hit send as fast as I could before I had further second thoughts.
Let me tell you, I was so embarrassed about the post that when a message popped up that the group admin/moderators had to approve the post, I was so relieved. It was out of my hands whether or not my awkward question would get seen.
That Facebook post was actually why I got up out of the tub and wrote the Solo Fi post here. Because it wasn’t good enough to ask the group, my gut said I wasn’t done. And phrases like “imperfect action” and “you can’t be the only one, somone else needs to hear this too” kept running through my head. So up out of my comfy tub I got and grabbed my laptop.
Later that evening, I checked my Facebook notifications and found that I had responses to my question!
I got the typical “ignore the issue entirely, it’ll just fall into your lap”, “why does it have to be one or the other”, “how about you just focus on yourself” comments. One of them even had the gall to preface the “advice” with “(posting from my honeymoon)” like a girl stuck in quarantine in 2020 needed that condescending shit!
But thank God I asked, because I also got comments from other women in my situation trying to make the best of this quarantine that has put a big HOLD on any kind of action we could take the alleviate the problem. We didn’t have answers for each other, but at least we know we aren’t alone.
I got one offer for coaching on the issue, so I’ll update on that when it happens.
And then I got this comment:
Praise the Lord! Some actual advice!
I am so glad I asked, because I needed to hear that. After this comment, I got several more responses that when ladies took the time to slow down on their business in favor of their relationships, they made MORE money and were all-around happier with their lives.
I did have to add this comment to the post to assuage the wave of platitudes:
Chill out ladies. No one’s giving up their business or the female power or whatever it is you think the world couldn’t live without while I’m looking for love. This is just more important to me than checking off the boxes on all of these money related success metrics.
Looks like the replies are still rolling in, so there may be a follow-up, but I’ll leave you with this response from Crystal Irom:
